bajamutblast | Inbox/Notes

[ The feel of Dion being even semi-hard beneath his fingers makes his breath hitch and leaves a sympathetic ache between his own legs. Even without such a direct touch from Dion, Joshua is well on his way himself, and while his pants aren't uncomfortable yet, he knows they will be sooner or later.

Not that he has much more of a chance to think about it. Dion's hand stroking and massaging where his wing meets his back is enough to send his mind reeling, and after a moment he needs to break the kiss himself just to breathe. A good thing that Dion is the one to break it, though the way that he kisses along the soft skin of his jaw and speaks in such a tone is enough to make Joshua grit his teeth and lift away his hand. ]

My apologies.

[ But his voice is oddly husky with the lust all but dripping from it. Dion doesn't want him to tease, so he shall get right to it, then. But first, he has to free himself. His hand moves down to his pants, grunting with frustration as he fumbles the button on the first attempt. But it doesn't take much, and soon he's pulling himself free, then moving to do the same for Dion. He has an idea, and if he can manage it, neither of them will have to pause to remove more clothing.

Probably, anyway. ]

[A deep well of satisfaction blooms within Dion's chest. He almost feels smug, knowing that he's elicited a similar level of pleasure from Joshua. He'd gladly administer more, if given the chance, but he can tell Joshua is enjoying the control. And it isn't as if Dion would ever complain about that.

As it is, Dion opens his mouth to apologize, but instead finds himself making a strangled noise as he watches Joshua handle himself. He has half of a mind to reach out and take over, but the purpose with which Joshua moves tells him that there's a plan in play. And he's far more curious as to whatever the calculating mind of Joshua Rosfield has determined to be the best.

So for the meanwhile, he occupies himself with laying kisses down the span of Joshua's neck. He pauses once he feels that pulse beneath his lips, then dares to leave a mark in that spot. He knows that he's treading on dangerous ground. Should Clive spot it, they might both be in trouble.

That doesn't stop him from following through, though.

[ The reveal of his most intimate parts is probably a little more without fanfare than it should have been for the first time, Joshua realizes belatedly. But it's far too late for that, with his arousal in hand, and so he opts for the next best thing: getting on with it.

But it's as he's trying to also free Dion from the confines of his pants that Dion attacks his throat firmly enough to leave a mark, and his touch falters for a moment, breath catching in his throat. Dion will have the pleasure of feeling his skin prickle into goosebumps in real time, and pale as he is, it won't take much to get that mark going. He, too, has the idle thought of the mark being in fairly open waters, but if it gets him in trouble... so be it. He isn't about to care. Let the mark be seen - he will wear it proudly.

But it's only a moment before he regains himself and remembers the task at hand. With a shuddering breath, his fingers dive back down beneath Dion's pants, but this time they go beneath his smallclothes as well. The touch is firm but full of intent, his fingers wrapping around Dion's length in a gentle and doting slide. ]

You can do that again.

[ Frankly, his throat could be littered with marks and he wouldn't care at this point. His free hand moves to work at Dion's pants, getting them open enough that he can free his partner from their oppressive confines. ]

Is this all right...?

[Dion would gladly do so, if given the opportunity. Joshua already wears a mark of Dion's favor, but it couldn't hurt to leave more. A true necklace was a dangerous thing in combat, considering the way it might bounce to and fro. But one made solely of pulsing suckles and the occasional bite? The only thing it might harm would be their discretion.

However, there is one slight problem to Dion's plan. Joshua's touch seems to have zapped every inch of Dion's being with a fresh bolt of levin. Instead of continuing his ministrations, Dion tucks his head against Joshua's neck, barely biting back a noise that might have come close to a whimper. In his mind, it only now seems to become apparent that it's been a terribly long time since he's been touched like this. He had never been desperate enough to put two and two together until this moment.

And desperate he now is. His hips buck into Joshua's hand before Dion can stop himself. He knows Joshua has asked a question, just as he also knows that he's hardly in a position to simply nod and be noticed. Nevertheless, he has to briefly bob his head frantically, his mouth still parted around a noise that he refuses to let out.

He loses track of the heartbeats that pass before he can respond. It wouldn't be a good metric anyway, considering how it frantically slams against his ribs.]

Y-yes. More than. [He clears his throat, briefly flustered by the fact that he has been so thoroughly unraveled. He tries to resume his effort, moving to the front of Joshua's throat and pressing his teeth just so against the tender skin. His efforts seem distracted though. Who could blame him!]

Your hands, my Phoenix. They - [He lets out a breath, one close to an exasperated laugh.] They are divine.

[ Oh, Founder. The desperate way that Dion responds to his touch is... exhilarating, and it also makes his heart ache something fierce. How long has it been, for Dion? Everything that happened back at home feels as though it happened so quickly, but Dion has been here for a month now, and Joshua frankly has no idea how long it had been since Dion had last seen his beloved prior to coming here. It had not been his business to pry.

But the desperation in Dion's actions and sounds just makes Joshua all the more eager to shower him with affection. He deserves it just as much as any of them do, if not more. The way that Dion can't even respond to his question immediately makes him smile, makes him want to pull back and press the man into the mattress and kiss him until they're both breathless, but Dion seems to be intent on grazing his neck, and he is loath to stop him.

So, instead, he huffs out a warm laugh, arching his neck for Dion just a little bit. My Phoenix. Flames take him, he's never felt so struck by levin as he does right now, hearing those words from Dion's lips. ]

If my hands are divine, then your lips are the very firmament.

[ And if Dion is so enamored by his hands, he will give them to him. He shifts his weight, just a little, enough to pull himself forward on Dion's lap to the point that they can rut up against each other. The feeling of even just that light amount of pressure makes Joshua groan, but he can't proceed just yet. He had gone into this admittedly a little impulsively, and proper preparations had not been made, so he is highly aware that there is no oil within reach. And yet, he is hesitant to get up to find any.

Pardon him for being a little... uncouth. Saliva has ever been a quick and easy method of lubricating for times when he's needed to relieve a little pressure and had a short time to do so. Turning his head just enough, he spits into his palm, then shifts down to take both of them together in his hand, sliding his slicked hand along the heated flesh to ease its passage momentarily.

And then he moves with his free hand, finding Dion's, and bringing it between them to rest on the back of the hand currently encircling both of their arousals. ]

Move with me, my Bahamut.

[ An echo from the motorcycle ride earlier, with a heartfelt additional touch.]

[Dion suspects that Joshua could have been a poet in another life. Briefly he entertains that reality, one in which he's bare against the sheets, reclined in the summer sun through a window as Joshua recites syrupy words. It would end much in the way this is going, hands against sacred places, kisses against delicate skin. Joshua would wear a necklace of bruises, just like the one Dion fashions now. The purple would suit him well.

In this, reality, though, he is commanded into motion. He argues not. There is precious little that Joshua could ever ask for that Dion would not give. And this, this is far too easy to comply with. He ruts his hips forward, feeling his length shift both against palm and arousal alike. The movement staggers at the end, disrupted by the fierce and bodily shudder that works through Dion.

This time, he doesn't hesitate to groan. His head shifts, preferring instead now to press their foreheads together. They are sharing so very much of themselves with one another, so why not their shaking breaths as well.]

Greagor, [His voice is low, already ragged with desire.] I -

[Whatever he plans to say is lost just as quickly as he thinks to speak it.]

[ In another life, perhaps that could have been the case. Perhaps, had his mother never betrayed Rosaria, he and Dion may have grown up as friends. They might have visited each other, spent afternoons just like this. Fallen for each other far sooner than they did. Joshua has thought about it many times, but their reality is what they must live with, and the fact that Dion is here pressed against him is enough for him.

Dion ruts his hips, and the resulting friction makes Joshua groan, his free hand shifting up to slide his fingers into the hair at the back of his partner's head. Their foreheads pressing together is a pleasant continuation of that, and he lets his eyes slip closed, focusing on trying to breathe for just a second.

And then his hand slides along the end of the rutting motion, bringing Dion's with it, and oh, it feels like heaven. ]

Founder, Dion. [ He breathes out the words, the hint of a whine on the edge of his words. ] Like that, just like that.

[ By the Flames, the anticipation and excitement of it all might get him harder than any of the physical stimulation. ]

[ It isn't often that Joshua feels as though he's outside of his own body. Only a time or two during his life, all told, and those experiences were not so pleasant. But he's certainly feeling it now, as he rushes across the Grove, following the aether of Bahamut that so clearly rings out from Dion. The only other Eikon that he can sense in full, now.

His head feels light, almost feverish, but he presses on. His hands are still clenched into fists, and there's an ache blooming in his chest, but he can't stop.

Seeing Dion coming back from where the flowers had been planted makes him exhale in relief, a shaky and audible breath, and his feet pick up the pace, nearly running until he's close enough to speak. And when he does, the first thing to pass his lips is: ]

Have you seen Clive?

[Before Joshua even reaches him, Dion knows something is wrong. He wouldn't rush so urgently if something weren't on his mind. It's confirmed at the sound of those breaths, and though Dion lets himself believe that it's simply the result of a bad dream, his suspicions linger.

Nevertheless, the moment they are within reach of each other, Dion reaches out to pull him into those arms. He holds Joshua close, even as his blood turns to ice at those words. He steps back, but doesn't let go, shifting instead to grip his shoulders.]

I have not. Did something happen?

[ Oh, Founder, but that does so much to ground him. The closeness, the grip, the tangible presence of another person. He lets himself sink into Dion, breathing in deeply, enveloping himself in the other and letting his hands grip at the back of Dion's shirt. Joshua's breaths are shaky and ragged at first, but the more of them he takes, the smoother they become.

When he feels he can finally answer, he doesn't bother to pull back. ]

Clive is missing. I cannot sense Ifrit's aether when I look for it.

[ His fingers dig tighter into the fabric for a moment, muscles tensing. ]

Either he's in the forest and my sense is being cut off, or...

[Between the shake of that breath and the words he utters, it isn't hard to figure out what Joshua's "or" happens to be. It's a good thing he doesn't try to pull back, because Dion would simply drag him in once more.

His chest feels icy, and aches with the chill of it all. He can't tell if it's his own loss, or Joshua's that strikes him so deeply. Either way, he hurts.]

He would not enter the forest without telling you.

[He knows that's not a comfort, so he squeezes Joshua anew.]

[Their reality isn't without its perks. They have suffered, died for this intimate moment, but it had all been worth it. Peace, and the chance to live his life as he wished. With who he wished. They might have been secretive in their efforts, but it was only ever for their own sake. No one here would look twice if they shared a kiss in the center of town.

If the world had any way of knowing what they were up to, they wouldn't have cared. At least not as long as they kept it down.

Not that Dion is doing that at all. As they slide against one another, he doesn't shy away from vocalizing his pleasure. It's a groan low in his throat, one that might even taper into a growl. The praise does little to quell that animalistic calling in his mind.

Greed pumps through him, and he doesn't hesitate to plunge forward once more, stealing Joshua's mouth in an almost desperate kiss. As if he might pry further praise from his lips just like this.]

[ It's not. But it's also a validation of his own fears, an echo of his thoughts. Clive wouldn't have gone into the forest alone, not without telling him. Not unless he was taken there willingly, or unless he died somehow.

Joshua pulls in a breath once more, a little more steady this time. He doesn't feel steady, though. ]

I couldn't feel him when he died.

[ Blunt. Because it's a possibility. He doesn't want to think about it, but it is. But as he continues speaking, a different note enters his voice like gritted teeth. ]

So help me, if that thing took him from me again--

[Dion's grip tightens, but not for entirely unselfish reasons. He doesn't like the tone that Joshua takes, the desperation in his voice. Not that he holds it against Joshua for being in such a state. If it had been Joshua instead of Clive, well... They both would have been in the woods already.

But if he must be the voice of reason, he will.]

Promise me you will not give chase. [He glances back toward the woods, as if he can feel the Forest prying at their weaknesses.] He would not forgave me if I let you get hurt.

[The shame he would feel, if he let the very first thing Joshua did without Clive's presence be to dart into the woods and get himself killed.]

[ The tighter grip makes Joshua's thoughts pause for one blissful moment. It grounds him further, reminds him that just like last time, there's nothing that he can do. That running into the forest like he so badly wants to is a bad idea.

He squeezes his eyes closed, and takes another deep breath. The memory of how so many had stopped him from making a deadly decision helps to take the edge off, and Dion's presence and request just brings him the rest of the way back. ]

I won't. I promise.

[ But his voice sounds soft, resigned. If Clive truly has died, he can do nothing but wait for Nene to come find him. And if Clive is simply nowhere to be found...

He doesn't want to think about that. Surely Clive is somewhere. Surely. ]

[There is so much that's now been cast up in the air in just this single moment. He doesn't know how they should move forward. Going home feels dangerous, like they're inviting a shadow in. But if, no when Clive came back, he would need to know where they were.

It feels like he's remained still for far too long. He needs to do something. To help.]

Tea - [It's a rather rushed statement.] There is a cafe, yes? Perhaps something warm will clear our minds.

[Without taking them back to the places that Clive is supposed to be.]

[ It's... funny, honestly, that how out of nowhere it feels actually helps Joshua from sinking any further into negativity. The offer of tea, so quick and blunt, makes him pull back with a soft and gently confused frown. ]

Tea...?

[ Something warm to clear their minds. It takes him a second of looking at Dion as though he's grown a second head, but eventually, it clicks. Dion doesn't want to take him back to the house. Dion is trying to help him not dwell on it.

The gentle frown slowly shifts into bemusement, and Joshua laughs softly, not an ounce of mirth but instead something understanding. ]

Yes... Yes, tea. Thank you.

[ It may still be somewhat distant-sounding, as though he's pulling back from the emotions to protect himself and do what he needs to do, but at least he doesn't sound like he's about to charge off. ]

[Joshua at least seems to have picked up what Dion is attempting. He doesn't know if it'll work. He does know that distraction won't last forever. But for now, he takes Joshua by the hand and gently leads him toward the cafe.

He does everything a good boyfriend should do too. He pulls out Joshua's chair, gets him all settled in. It's very gentle, and might have been cute if not for their grim circumstances.

He leaves Joshua only for a moment to place their order. Then he's perched across from the Phoenix, hands outstretched to take his. As long as he can still reach out like this, then surely it will be alright. He can keep Joshua close.]

[ It won't last forever, but however long it does last is still a good thing. Even if, as he allows Dion to lead him, Joshua feels as though he's in a tunnel. Like this is a horrible dream, and he'll wake up eventually, and Clive will be here and perfectly hale and whole.

Under any other circumstances, Joshua would have been charmed by Dion's attentiveness. As it stands currently, though, all he can do is appreciate it. It puts no pressure on him, and gives him a moment to rest. To attempt to quiet the hive of bees that have taken residence in his head.

But being able to hold Dion's hands across the table is still enough of a comfort. He gives them a gentle squeeze, closing his eyes. ]

Thank you. You are too good to me, truly.

[Dion is quick to shake his head, even as he returns the squeeze to his hands. He takes a moment to lift one, pressing a kiss to the back of it, before settling it on the table yet again.]

I am only being as I should. You deserve a shoulder to lay your head on, especially in times like these.

[He traces a thumb over the back of one of Joshua's knuckles. It's an incredibly gentle touch, almost irreverent.]

Whatever you may need in the coming days, I will gladly give it. Even if that means needing space. [A pause.] And if you do not know what you need, then I will do my best to provide comfort.

I am... sorry if that proves to not be enough.

No. It will never not be enough. You will never not be enough.

[ The words come quickly, soft as they are. Joshua shakes his head a moment later, opening his eyes to look down at their joined hands. ]

That you are still here with me is an incredible comfort. Please do not discount the good that your presence is doing for me in this moment, and will continue to do for me.

[ He looks up, finally, and though his eyes are the slightest bit glossy, he ignores it. Pretends that they are not. ]

I feel as though I am adrift in the dark. I know not what I need. But I do know that I need you.

[Joshua may try to ignore and pretend the tears away, but Dion cannot. He reaches over, cupping that precious cheek as gently as possible. He thumbs beneath an eye, ready to catch any tears that may wind up falling. It's like Joshua said: he's there, and will continue to be.]

Then I will be here. I merely mean to say that - [He swallows.] Grief is difficult. The arms of a lover can be appreciated at times, but not what you need at others. Whatever your mood is, I will always respect it. You need only say the word, Joshua.

[He knows what it feels to grieve. Just as he knows Joshua does. It will take time. So much time.]

I love you. I shall ever be your spear.

[ The touch draws a soft breath from him, but it's Dion's words that ultimately do make a tear fall. Joshua's free hand lifts, pressing against the back of the hand against his cheek, and he lets his eyes slip closed again. As soon as they do, a few more tears follow suit. ]

And I love you.

[ So much. So much that it makes his chest ache, emotion blossoming anew. ]

Would that you were here the last time... Please do not allow me to neglect myself. Clive was cross when he returned...

[ He hadn't taken his medicine in days. Had barely eaten. He doesn't want to believe that it will happen again, the situation is not entirely the same, but he feels so off-kilter right now that it reminds him of when he'd awakened in the care of the Undying. When he had thought that Clive had been killed. If not for the Undying... ]

[And here comes the other hand. They both work in tandem, thumbing tears away as they fall. He makes no effort to shush Joshua, or coax him out of his tears. He lets them fall. He may not understand the concept of brotherly love, given his own experiences, but his heart can still ache for his beloved. It is... so difficult to watch that grief pour out.]

I will not. So long as you have me at your side, I will assure you are cared for. You tend to your emotions, I shall handle the rest.

[He isn't much of a cook, but he'll fetch food. He suspects the bar will be out of commission for some time, so there will be no stew on hand. But tea, and whatever he can scrounge up in the inn's kitchen? He can manage that.]

You will not be alone.

[ Oh, Dion. The gesture means more than Joshua can vocalize right now, so he doesn't even try. Instead, he pulls in a soft, vaguely trembling breath, but in an attempt to steady himself rather than just trying to breathe. He is trying so gracefully to avoid falling apart in a public setting.

Perhaps later, behind closed doors. ]

Thank you.

[ His fingertips rub gently against the back of Dion's hand. A self-soothing gesture, perhaps, but it is enough combined with the contact that he can keep himself grounded. They don't know what's happened to Clive yet, anyway. It could be anything at this point. He has to focus on that glimmer of hope. ]

I'm sorry if I frightened you before. When you made me promise not to give chase. I...

[ A breath. ]

I have not told you that story. But I would tell you of what happened before your arrival, so that it may give you context, if you will hear it.

Edited 2025-04-24 02:00 (UTC)

Inbox/Notes

oops we should probably mark this thread nsfw huh

OOPS YEAH

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shortly after speaking to luca

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