bajamutblast | Inbox/Notes

[Dion wants to protest. Clive may be onto something, that everything that happened to him was simply the product of machinations beyond his ken. The intention might well have always been to break his will, but that doesn't mean it's broken now.

And right now, his will says that he wants to be as close to normal as he can. He does not want to fear who he is, and what he can do. His control over Bahamut had not faded, of that Clive is correct. But suffused with more power, with the true might of his Eikon, he fears what might come next.

He glances away from Clive, eyes trying to focus on something other than his thoughts. The walls. The ceiling, his bedside table, and finally, the flower that rests there.

Of course.

He has always been a tool. Even if Clive doesn't mean it, and Dion knows this to be true, he cannot help the path his thoughts go down. The Rosfields have need of him, just as his father once did. There is no choice here, not when there is something he may yet give. Dion will do as he is directed, as he ever has.]

Of course. [There is a distance to his voice, a blankness to his face. Nevertheless, he holds his arm out. He doesn't know what needs to be done in this instance, but he'll do it. He just wants to make it quick, lest the thoughts he runs from catch up to him.]

Let us be about it then.

[ Clive watches Dion glance away, around, then... Ah. He sees that shift, the way Dion's face smooths and blanks. The blandness to his voice, the way he holds his arm out. It makes Clive snarl a little and slap Dion's hand away. ]

You have your own will. Say no if it's what you want, I will not push you. The offer is there, I believe in you, but if you do not want it, do not offer yourself up to take it.

[ There's no real anger in his voice, at least, not towards Dion. There's a touch of frustration, because he wants to grab the Dragoon and shake him. But he understands that feeling, even if Dion doesn't think he would. He knows what it feels like to be a tool to use with no choice of his own. ]

Live. Make your own choices.

[The last thing Dion expects is such a volatile reaction. He flinches back first, then briefly rises upward as if to meet a fight. When he realizes that Clive isn't angry, and that he doesn't intend to strike again, he quickly sits back down. Shame burns through him briefly at the scolding, before this too is swallowed down.

I don't know how, some small part of him thinks to say. He folds this voice into the palm of his hand and squashes it before it can further haunt his thoughts.]

If neither answer will satisfy you, then I know not what you want.

[Clive had already spelled it out to him. The problem is that it's not something Dion can yet comprehend.]

[ And Clive gets it. It took him finding Jill again, for Cid finding them both, and five years after that, to realize his life was his own. That he wasn't obedient to anyone's desires but his own. That he could turn down being a tool to someone else. It's not going to happen over night, as much as Clive wants it to, for Dion to realize he's free.

Maybe it's the understanding, of Clive knowing how it feels, that makes him get to his feet. Reach out the small distance and grab Dion by his arm and lift the other to his feet.

Then pull him into a hug. Yes, it's more than a little awkward, it doesn't have the ease of Joshua's hug, but there's a fierce understanding and care there nonetheless.

Have your back patted awkwardly, Dion. ]

[Yanked to his feet in the manner that he is, Dion fully expects a fight to break out. He lifts his free arm at first, seeking to shove Clive back or to block his face, he isn't sure. Thus, he finds himself in a bit of an awkward position, arm half-extended, as he's pulled into an embrace. He remains frozen there for the space of one breath. Two. Three.

The arm in the air settles around Clive's shoulder. He can't will the other to lift, baffled as he is, but at least he's trying? The confusion doesn't ebb, made clear by the stammered out:]

What — are you doing?

Trying to think of ways to call you an idiot without it being too rude.

[ He claps a little more forcefully, a good hearty whack on the back, before pulling away. Now that he's sure he sufficiently embarrassed them both. ]

I know what you're feeling. If you need someone to talk to, I'm all ears.

[ It might not be quite the same, but he recognized that tone, that look. Bearers wear it often when they're broken. It was on his own face enough when Cid first found him. Lock the emotions away and just do it. Run the task, fight the enemy, do as your told and be good.

Wyvern tail is in both of their lives, in different and similar ways. ]

[Taken aback as he is by that level of bluntness, Dion lets out a startled note of a laugh. It takes him a moment longer to figure out what to say in response. After a few long seconds of stumbling, he finally just shakes his head.]

I may yet deserve it at this point.

[He winces at the blow to his back, mostly at the way it jostles his poor wounds. He leans back, a hint disgruntled, before his expression eases into a wry grin.]

I suspect I will need time before I am willing to talk about it all. But... it seems we have more than enough to spare, given our arrangements.

[He appreciates that Clive doesn't press. And, above all, it means a great deal to him that he would even try to urge Dion to put down his burdens.]

Thank you, If - [A pause.] Clive.

[ Ah, the mans injuries are still paining him. His healer has been good then, and hasn't used any magic to truly heal the other. He'll have to sigh at Joshua and give him the do what you must look, because he knows his brother probably desperately wants to ease Dion's pains away completely. And if they can cure the curse, then it should be all right to do so. ]

Time is most certainly something we have plenty of.

[ He steps back further, feeling more than a little awkward now. He's not his brother, but Dion is a friend, so he wanted to offer the other the same help he offered him back at the Hideaway. The same understanding.

And looks awkward to the thank you. ]

Don't thank me, it's the least I could do.

[ Well, one more thing, as he tilts his head. ]

Still interested in seeing if we can get rid of that curse on you?

[It's hard to hard to fathom that Clive was of the same blood as Anabella. There is such kindness in his soul, love the likes of which he only ever saw the woman show her precious son. In fact, the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes that such acts were suspiciously devoid across Sanbreque itself. To see it given so freely, so unflinchingly continues to baffle him so.]

Some of us even more than others.

[After all, it isn't as if he has anything waiting for him back home. This will have to suffice as his home, and he will have to learn to live.]

The curse. Right. [He glances down at his arm, as if he could even see through the bandages. He puzzles over it silently, before nodding.]

It would be wise. The less of a hold it has, the better.

[ And he wont be doing it alone. Joshua is there with him, Clive is there with him. He's got support, whether he knows it or not yet. He will eventually realize it, Clive knows Dion is an intelligent man, a lot like his brother. Maybe that's why they pull so hard at each other.

Not that he thinks either of them notices it.

He hm's softly and nods to Dion agreeing, thinking. ]

There's no guarantee it won't return. [ Especially with Dion down Bahamut. ] But we can push it back. There may be ways to stop it entirely but we haven't figured out that yet.

[ Is there nothing you can't do, Dion had asked, and there's the answer. They can't stop it.

Yet. ]

I'll contact my friend, he's the one able to shift aether around. He's a good man.

[ Unaware the two bristled at each other. He pauses a little, that little smile not having left. ]

If you need anything, Dion, our room isn't that far away.

[Eventually, he will. When it all stops feeling conditional, and when Dion is finally able to get through to himself that suffering wasn't the only way forward, only then would he come around. It's still a long way off, but maybe not nearly as far as it could be, were he going it alone.]

I will have to adjust to fighting without the rest of my abilities. [Thankfully, he doesn't sound too bothered by that. In fact:] It will be a good excuse to put my skills as a dragoon to the test. Long has it been since I relied solely on those.

[The smile he offers Clive is small but... he's trying.]

I thank you for the offer. And... [He pauses for a moment.] For how hard you and your brother have already worked for me. I do not yet feel that I am deserving, but I do appreciate it nonetheless.

If you ever need a partner for that, let me know. I've always be interested to see how we compare.

[ Clive may have a few years over Dion, but like himself, Dion began training at a young age. And keeping their skills sharp is important here, with no one knowing what each month will offer. The small smile is noted and it's cute. Dion is trying, and he gets it.

The thank you makes him wave his hand again a little, not quite dismissing it but awkwardly trying to show the other it's... not something Clive thinks needs to be thanked for. ]

Give yourself more credit.

[ All right, he's made this awkward enough and he moves to the door before it gets even more so. ]

Rest, Dion, I'll contact you later.

Perhaps one day.

[Is he talking about sparring? Or giving himself credit? Too bad, he doesn't give Clive time to ask. He follows after the man, making sure he can't turn back and ask any questions. You thought it was awkward already, Clive? Now Dion is hovering behind him. Looking.]

And rest I shall. [He gives a respectful little nod.] Take care, and try not to cause too much trouble about the place in the interim.

[You know, gotta tease to lighten the mood, lest Clive actually worry about him.]

[ Now that Tal is aware Dion is LOOMING and not LOOKING-

He turns to say goodbye and pauses, the looming makes him arch an eyebrow as he tilts his head up, but mostly in amusement. And a little bit of deciding it's unfair he's the eldest out of the three and still smaller.

All right, all right, he's going. And he actually laughs to the not cause too much trouble. It's a warm, slightly rough noise. ]

No promises.

[ He's not out to find trouble, but trouble finds them nonetheless. He nods back and turns to leave. ]

[He can be looking too ijs.

Anyway.]

I suppose I should not expect more.

[Said with half of a grin and everything.

As Clive makes his way out of the door, Dion lingers. He doubts there's a single threat to be found in the inn, but he makes sure that the man makes it safely down the hall before remember that he failed to do exactly this for Joshua.

He should ~~call him~~ probably do something to rectify that. Oops.]

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