bajamutblast | Inbox/Notes

You say that as though running into errant princes is commonplace.

[ But there's a tightness in his voice, a sparkle in his eyes, that indicates he is oh so close to laughing about it. He smiles at Dion once more, resting a hand on his hip. ]

Kihel sounds like a wonderful person. If she has worked so hard on these poultices, I would be honored to use them. Perhaps we could even determine what is in them and replicate them at the clinic... With her name attached, of course.

[ Kihel. That's the name of the person so important to Dion. He makes a note of the name, so that he does not forget it. ]

Tell me about her, while I look over your other wounds?

[ If you think he's convinced that a fall from the heavens would result only in bruises on a single arm, then ser, you are thoroughly mistaken. ]

[Dion wants to protest. Clive may be onto something, that everything that happened to him was simply the product of machinations beyond his ken. The intention might well have always been to break his will, but that doesn't mean it's broken now.

And right now, his will says that he wants to be as close to normal as he can. He does not want to fear who he is, and what he can do. His control over Bahamut had not faded, of that Clive is correct. But suffused with more power, with the true might of his Eikon, he fears what might come next.

He glances away from Clive, eyes trying to focus on something other than his thoughts. The walls. The ceiling, his bedside table, and finally, the flower that rests there.

Of course.

He has always been a tool. Even if Clive doesn't mean it, and Dion knows this to be true, he cannot help the path his thoughts go down. The Rosfields have need of him, just as his father once did. There is no choice here, not when there is something he may yet give. Dion will do as he is directed, as he ever has.]

Of course. [There is a distance to his voice, a blankness to his face. Nevertheless, he holds his arm out. He doesn't know what needs to be done in this instance, but he'll do it. He just wants to make it quick, lest the thoughts he runs from catch up to him.]

Let us be about it then.

One never knows. I hear you are quite well-traveled. Perhaps there was another.

[He's teasing, and yet there remains a note of curiosity in his voice all the same. For all his life, Dion went where he was told. There was much he had seen, of that he would freely admit. And yet the freedom to wander sounds almost like a fantasy. He knows that Joshua was no idle explorer, of course, but a man on a mission. Yet that mission had taken him to the corners of Valisthea. He can't help but wonder what all the man had seen.]

She is. She found and tended to me after I left the care of your healer. Without her, I suspect I would have met my end long before Origin. [He pauses for a moment, quirking a brow.] Though, I know not what other wounds you refer to.

[He cannot take his shirt off in front of Joshua, he will die.]

[ Clive watches Dion glance away, around, then... Ah. He sees that shift, the way Dion's face smooths and blanks. The blandness to his voice, the way he holds his arm out. It makes Clive snarl a little and slap Dion's hand away. ]

You have your own will. Say no if it's what you want, I will not push you. The offer is there, I believe in you, but if you do not want it, do not offer yourself up to take it.

[ There's no real anger in his voice, at least, not towards Dion. There's a touch of frustration, because he wants to grab the Dragoon and shake him. But he understands that feeling, even if Dion doesn't think he would. He knows what it feels like to be a tool to use with no choice of his own. ]

Live. Make your own choices.

[ Well-traveled... Indeed. He supposes he is. In his quest for knowledge about Ultima, he's been to so many places, but... never to take in the sights. Never to enjoy local cultures, never to partake in the cuisine save what was needed for energy, to keep something in his belly. He is Well-traveled, well-studied, but it is all in the name of finding out what truly happened that night at Phoenix Gate, and what Ultima had been plotting.

But he smiles for Dion all the same. ]

You would be surprised. Valisthea experiences a dearth of princes, particularly errant ones.

[ He's about as close as it gets, he supposes.

But as Dion talks about Kihel, he listens respectfully. She had saved him after he'd fled, then. He owes her his thanks in person, if they ever return home. Without her, they never would have made it as far as they did. ]

She sounds lovely. You are lucky to have met her, Dion.

[ But as he speaks, he's already giving Dion a once-over. There are other wounds. He knows so. ]

Hmm. If you're certain. I'd hate to find out later that I've missed something, but I'm sure you know best.

[The last thing Dion expects is such a volatile reaction. He flinches back first, then briefly rises upward as if to meet a fight. When he realizes that Clive isn't angry, and that he doesn't intend to strike again, he quickly sits back down. Shame burns through him briefly at the scolding, before this too is swallowed down.

I don't know how, some small part of him thinks to say. He folds this voice into the palm of his hand and squashes it before it can further haunt his thoughts.]

If neither answer will satisfy you, then I know not what you want.

[Clive had already spelled it out to him. The problem is that it's not something Dion can yet comprehend.]

[ And Clive gets it. It took him finding Jill again, for Cid finding them both, and five years after that, to realize his life was his own. That he wasn't obedient to anyone's desires but his own. That he could turn down being a tool to someone else. It's not going to happen over night, as much as Clive wants it to, for Dion to realize he's free.

Maybe it's the understanding, of Clive knowing how it feels, that makes him get to his feet. Reach out the small distance and grab Dion by his arm and lift the other to his feet.

Then pull him into a hug. Yes, it's more than a little awkward, it doesn't have the ease of Joshua's hug, but there's a fierce understanding and care there nonetheless.

Have your back patted awkwardly, Dion. ]

Then perhaps it by fate that we met?

[A single errant prince and a single Phoenix. It's sort of story right out of a childhood fantasy. And one he quickly dashes from his mind before he can dwell too deeply on it.]

I was indeed. And now I can only hope she is being well cared for at home. I sent someone very dear to me to bring her enough coin to survive on. It will have to be enough.

[He can tell by that look that Joshua sees through his lies. It's hard to say whether it's guilt or a fear of Joshua's future wrath that winds up motivating Dion, but either way, he reaches for the hem of the sweater he wears all the same. No fantasy buttons or weird clothing to navigate here. Everyone say thanks, Heimr.

The sweater makes it to his abdomen before he finds himself hesitating. His cheeks feel warmer than they should, and he hates to think about how the rest of his body will fare once all is laid bare but... off it goes anyway. There's plenty of bandages and mottled bruises to be found here. Whatever entity brought him here had mended most of the threatening wounds, but that doesn't mean he's not still beaten up.]

You may have your way with me then, my healer.

Perhaps it is... Fate conspired to have us meet twenty years ago, so that I should be able to stand here, now, mending your wounds.

[ There's a twinkle in his eye as he says it, a bit of mirth in his voice.

Someone very dear to him... Ah, Dion must speak of his attendant. He had sent Jote away for similar reasons, to keep her safe rather than to seek out an individual, but it makes sense. It's nice, knowing that Dion has someone so close to him that he can trust.

But Dion finally gives in to him, and he could let out a sigh of relief if he didn't feel like masking it. His own wounds, from Ultima's exit from his body, had been healed upon coming here, but they had been life-threatening. Joshua has only wanted to ensure that Dion's are the same - the man had fought Ultima directly, after all, and he's well aware of what happens when an Eikon is defeated in flight. Bahamut would not have had anywhere to land to soften the blow of falling out of a primed state, like as not.

The amount of bandages here is... staggering, compared to Dion's arm. Joshua frowns, expression thoughtful. He has enough left on his roll of bandages to cover these, but only just. He will have to restock.

But Dion's words make him pause, and while by some miracle of the Founder his ears don't flush at the tone of it, the feathers of his wings and the small feathers interspersed throughout his hair certainly ruffle up. Flames, he hates these boons sometimes.

He clears his throat, moving to locate the ending of the bandages so that he can unwind them. ]

I will need to remove these first. Pray, hold still a moment - I will try to be gentle. Are there any areas in particular that bother you worse than others?

[The movement of Joshua's feathers gives Dion pause. His expression remains quizzical as he sifts back through his words and, Oh, Greagor, smite him for it all. He immediately flinches back from Joshua's hands, expression shifting from confused to outright apologetic.]

Pray forgive my speech, Phoenix. My phrasing was - far from appropriate.

[He can't deny some passing interest in Joshua, no. But surely it is just that — passing. His heart yearned for another man, did it not? And no matter how final their goodbye had been, the fact that Dion yet drew breath surely meant he owed Terence some level of faith.

Never mind the fact that Joshua was little more than a stranger to him. They had shed blood together, laughed together but -

He closes his eyes, trying to force himself to focus on the moment. He could brood and turn these thoughts over within his head later. Right now, he is only making more of a fool of himself by flailing about and avoiding the other man's touch.]

Apologies. [He repeats this, before leaning forward once again.] And, to your question... It all seems to hurt equally.

[Should Joshua wish to continue stripping the bandages away, he'll quickly see why. Bahamut had been pierced clean through by the burst of energy Ifrit had repelled. While it may not have left an entire hole in his torso, there were burns to match the point of impact on either side of his body.]

[Yanked to his feet in the manner that he is, Dion fully expects a fight to break out. He lifts his free arm at first, seeking to shove Clive back or to block his face, he isn't sure. Thus, he finds himself in a bit of an awkward position, arm half-extended, as he's pulled into an embrace. He remains frozen there for the space of one breath. Two. Three.

The arm in the air settles around Clive's shoulder. He can't will the other to lift, baffled as he is, but at least he's trying? The confusion doesn't ebb, made clear by the stammered out:]

What — are you doing?

No. No, it is quite alright.

[ It truly is. He isn't bothered by the words, so much as... Well. It's a similar sensation to when Will had complimented him, really, now that he thinks about it. Perhaps that's all it is, simply adjusting to others being so casual with him.

He gently shakes himself - literally - for a second, getting his feathers to settle again. ]

I am still not used to these boons. They often have a mind of their own. But I would be honored to be your healer, Your Highness.

[ It's said with a little curve of lips, trying to lighten the awkward little bit of tension with some levity. But not for long. He has work to do.

And once he gets the bandages off, he pulls in a breath. ]

Oh, Founder.

[ Dion has been trying to mend these himself? With only poultices, and in places he cannot easily reach alone? These will take weeks to heal, even with proper application of salve...

His fingers itch to cast a spell. He could fix this so, so easily. Dion wouldn't have to be in pain, he wouldn't need daily reapplication of bandages. And Joshua would gladly spend his own energy to do it, too. But Dion had requested no spells, and like as not, Clive would be able to feel it and would kick down the door to make him stop.

So, he bites down on his lip and refrains. For now. To keep the itch from being overwhelming, he focuses on the wounds instead, moving to the sink to wet a cloth so that they can be cleaned first. The other burns were fine without, but these are closer to the heart.

Once he returns with it, he kneels on the floor, oh so gently dabbing at the burns to ensure there isn't anything foreign trapped there. ]

Dion, I must request - no, I insist that you see me daily. If I am to heal these without my magic, we will need to ensure they are clean and rebandaged frequently.

[Dion is not unused to the sharp stabs of pain that comes from these wounds. He's done his best to clean and tend them over the last few days, but it never gets any easier. The marred flesh is tender and angry even still, and no amount of gentleness will completely take away the pain. He has experienced far worse, though. And so while it hurts he needs to do little more than set his jaw and stare at a wall. It will be over soon enough.

Still, he cannot let Joshua's insistence slide. He sighs only a little sharply, and only because it's a sensitive area that's just been brushed. He ignores it for now, shaking his head as he does.]

Every day is far too much, even for you. Doubtless, there are others who need your assistance out there. I will not take you from them.

[And maybe, just maybe, he also doesn't think he deserves that much care and attention. It is but another form of punishment he must bear. To ease the burden would be to casually erase the suffering he had wrought upon others.]

Trying to think of ways to call you an idiot without it being too rude.

[ He claps a little more forcefully, a good hearty whack on the back, before pulling away. Now that he's sure he sufficiently embarrassed them both. ]

I know what you're feeling. If you need someone to talk to, I'm all ears.

[ It might not be quite the same, but he recognized that tone, that look. Bearers wear it often when they're broken. It was on his own face enough when Cid first found him. Lock the emotions away and just do it. Run the task, fight the enemy, do as your told and be good.

Wyvern tail is in both of their lives, in different and similar ways. ]

[Taken aback as he is by that level of bluntness, Dion lets out a startled note of a laugh. It takes him a moment longer to figure out what to say in response. After a few long seconds of stumbling, he finally just shakes his head.]

I may yet deserve it at this point.

[He winces at the blow to his back, mostly at the way it jostles his poor wounds. He leans back, a hint disgruntled, before his expression eases into a wry grin.]

I suspect I will need time before I am willing to talk about it all. But... it seems we have more than enough to spare, given our arrangements.

[He appreciates that Clive doesn't press. And, above all, it means a great deal to him that he would even try to urge Dion to put down his burdens.]

Thank you, If - [A pause.] Clive.

Every day is not too much. Not when it's you.

[ It's murmured quietly as he works, so focused on his task that he doesn't really think about how it sounds until a small handful of quiet seconds later. At which point he pulls in a soft breath, sitting back from the wounds for a moment and glancing up at Dion, then clearing his throat and turning to preoccupy himself with his tin of salve. ]

Because your wounds were obtained in giving us a chance. I may not be directly responsible for making them, but I can be responsible for ensuring that they heal properly.

[ And responsible for making sure that Dion is not in pain because of them. He slicks his fingers with the salve, and applies it to the worst of the burns with the same gentleness as the ones on his arm. It has to hurt something awful. There's no way that it couldn't. He will have to ask Pure Vanilla if there isn't something he could apply to reduce or eliminate the pain.

But for now, as he plasters gauze pads to the ones on the front and makes his way around to Dion's back, he murmurs something softly. ]

Forgive me.

[ Because, just for this, just because he wants to relieve a little bit of Dion's pain obtained on his and Clive's behalf, he lets the Phoenix's fire light on his hand. The most gentle healing spell he can manage works its way into his skin, calming the ache and the burn. It won't last, it isn't knitting flesh together, but it will at least help for a short while. And if it draws ire from either Dion or Clive, he will take it with no amount of shame. It's the least he can do. ]

[ Ah, the mans injuries are still paining him. His healer has been good then, and hasn't used any magic to truly heal the other. He'll have to sigh at Joshua and give him the do what you must look, because he knows his brother probably desperately wants to ease Dion's pains away completely. And if they can cure the curse, then it should be all right to do so. ]

Time is most certainly something we have plenty of.

[ He steps back further, feeling more than a little awkward now. He's not his brother, but Dion is a friend, so he wanted to offer the other the same help he offered him back at the Hideaway. The same understanding.

And looks awkward to the thank you. ]

Don't thank me, it's the least I could do.

[ Well, one more thing, as he tilts his head. ]

Still interested in seeing if we can get rid of that curse on you?

[Oh, the way his heart flutters at the words. It isn't fair for Joshua to talk to him in such a way, he thinks. It's so easy for his mind to run away with itself, and before long the tips of his ears feel just that slightest bit warm.

It takes him a long moment to remember to respond, to shake his head. While he understands the sentiment, there is a problem with it all.]

These wounds are not from you. [Despite the correction his voice is gentle.] It was in your attempts to stop me in my rage. They are a reminder of what I have done.

[If there's more he wants to say, he can't seem to manage it. Joshua is right that it hurts, and he finds his hands gripping tightly at the fabric of the bed below him as a result. His eyes water reflexively, but he's long since used to blinking that away.

There is one advantage to his suffering, for Joshua at least. Dazed as he is, he doesn't register the apology until the pain ebbs. It's an unnatural shift, he swiftly realizes what's happened, but it's still far too late.]

Joshua - [There's not anger in his voice, but sorrow.] Please - no more. Do not weaken yourself, especially not for me.

[ Good. He'd been banking on the element of surprise, so that Dion wouldn't stop him before it could take effect. The spell is blessedly quick, so by the time Dion is asking him to stop, he's already finished with all that he wanted to do.

The feeling of it taking hold on him is nothing more than a gentle twinge, and he easily passes it off. ]

Only this once. Just once. Just to ease the pain for a short while.

[ It's a soft reassurance, that he isn't going to do it again. But in lieu of anything numbing, it was all he could do. And he wanted to.

But hearing his name, rather than "Phoenix", makes his lips curl up. He won't remark on it, but it's nice to hear. He will keep that small smile to himself as he patches up the burns on Dion's back, where the other man can't see it. ]

If you require a reminder, they will scar, and you will have one. But you need not suffer so in the process. You need not repent, Dion - no one is asking it of you, and expecting it of yourself will only hurt others. So, please. Take this relief I've given you, and relax. For Kihel, if not for yourself.

[It's hard to hard to fathom that Clive was of the same blood as Anabella. There is such kindness in his soul, love the likes of which he only ever saw the woman show her precious son. In fact, the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes that such acts were suspiciously devoid across Sanbreque itself. To see it given so freely, so unflinchingly continues to baffle him so.]

Some of us even more than others.

[After all, it isn't as if he has anything waiting for him back home. This will have to suffice as his home, and he will have to learn to live.]

The curse. Right. [He glances down at his arm, as if he could even see through the bandages. He puzzles over it silently, before nodding.]

It would be wise. The less of a hold it has, the better.

[It doesn't settle well with Dion. The look he gives the man is desperate. Nausea curls within his gut, while his own self-doubt tickles at the back of his mind. He doesn't deserve this kindness. He doesn't. But he knows that Joshua will not hear of his complaints, and even if he did, there aws nothign to be done. The damage had already presumably taken hold.

He is left, then, to simply sit with his discomfort as Joshua works. He stares down at the floor, picking out flaws in the grain beneath his feet, all while he waits for the other man to finish. Unfortunately, it means there's little else to do but listen to that which Joshua says. It is a low blow, he thinks, to use Kihel against him, but the effect Joshua had been seeking is achieved. She had put such work into keeping him alive and patching him up. To do any damage to it would be to spite her legacy.]

You are... correct. [Still, his discomfort only grows. His feet itch. All at once, he wants to be alone.

But he won't be so impolite as to directly tell Joshua to leave. He simply nods once again and waits. It will be over soon enough, and then he can make an excuse of needing rest.]

[ And he wont be doing it alone. Joshua is there with him, Clive is there with him. He's got support, whether he knows it or not yet. He will eventually realize it, Clive knows Dion is an intelligent man, a lot like his brother. Maybe that's why they pull so hard at each other.

Not that he thinks either of them notices it.

He hm's softly and nods to Dion agreeing, thinking. ]

There's no guarantee it won't return. [ Especially with Dion down Bahamut. ] But we can push it back. There may be ways to stop it entirely but we haven't figured out that yet.

[ Is there nothing you can't do, Dion had asked, and there's the answer. They can't stop it.

Yet. ]

I'll contact my friend, he's the one able to shift aether around. He's a good man.

[ Unaware the two bristled at each other. He pauses a little, that little smile not having left. ]

If you need anything, Dion, our room isn't that far away.

[Eventually, he will. When it all stops feeling conditional, and when Dion is finally able to get through to himself that suffering wasn't the only way forward, only then would he come around. It's still a long way off, but maybe not nearly as far as it could be, were he going it alone.]

I will have to adjust to fighting without the rest of my abilities. [Thankfully, he doesn't sound too bothered by that. In fact:] It will be a good excuse to put my skills as a dragoon to the test. Long has it been since I relied solely on those.

[The smile he offers Clive is small but... he's trying.]

I thank you for the offer. And... [He pauses for a moment.] For how hard you and your brother have already worked for me. I do not yet feel that I am deserving, but I do appreciate it nonetheless.

[ In using Kihel's name, Joshua had hoped that it might serve as a motivation. Something. He'd initially thought to use himself, but... Well. He frankly wasn't certain that using himself for a motivation would work. They don't know each other well on a personal level, after all. But he cares for Kihel a great deal.

But as the remainder of his patching up passes in relative silence, he finds himself wondering if it worked. If Dion's silence is contemplative, or discomfort. It isn't as though he can read minds, so it's difficult to say. But he remains silent, too, save for soft, short instructions to move an arm this way, hold this position, whatever makes it easier at any given moment to wrap the bandages around Dion's wounds to hold the gauze in place.

And as he finishes, he glances over to the stove. The water sounds like it has started to boil, so he finished just in time. He shifts off the bed, wiping his fingers on the cloth at his waist again as he moves to take the kettle off the flame.

But as he pours the water into the cups, he hesitates. The leaves curl and spin in the cup as the water settles from its pour, and he slowly eases the kettle back down. ]

If I've made you uncomfortable, I apologize.

[ Just to cover any possibility. Just to be safe. He isn't sure, but they had been chatting fairly regularly until they abruptly weren't. He isn't sure if it was his healing, or his mention of Kihel, or both. ]

If you ever need a partner for that, let me know. I've always be interested to see how we compare.

[ Clive may have a few years over Dion, but like himself, Dion began training at a young age. And keeping their skills sharp is important here, with no one knowing what each month will offer. The small smile is noted and it's cute. Dion is trying, and he gets it.

The thank you makes him wave his hand again a little, not quite dismissing it but awkwardly trying to show the other it's... not something Clive thinks needs to be thanked for. ]

Give yourself more credit.

[ All right, he's made this awkward enough and he moves to the door before it gets even more so. ]

Rest, Dion, I'll contact you later.

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